Team Bonding — Dealing with vague, blunt, or critical feedback
Heard this African proverb before?
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
Sounds powerful? right
So powerful that the mind’s instant reaction is “That’s so true”. We feel like putting it as an Instagram story or LinkedIn post.
And what if I ask you “Can you narrate any story from your career where you saw that proverb in action?”.
Take a few-second break, try to recall any story, and then read further.
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Welcome back… :).
Were you able to recall any?
Most of us would recall a failure story in a jiffy. But would struggle to recall the successful ones. And would struggle more if I had asked for a story where you played a key role in keeping people together.
I acknowledge that a lot of factors contribute towards bringing and keeping the team together. Be it org level, leadership level, or individual level, action at all levels matters.
People at the leadership level will always be in the minority in any org. Individual contributors(IC) will always constitute a majority.
I personally believe the action taken at the IC level too can make a huge contribution in keeping people together.
But the best outcome can come from the continuous effort. Nope, don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell you about conducting any weekly fun activity. There’s one act on our part if done well, a culture of unity will thrive.
And that one act is H.A.N.D.L.I.N.G — F.E.E.D.B.A.C.K.
I’ve seen mishandling of feedback fading away the togetherness. The skills different folks bring to the table indeed bring the team together but it is not enough to keep the team together.
Here I’m talking about the feedback received on things beyond designs i.e. work style, communication skills, diligence, knowledge gap, collaboration skills, personal behavior, etc.
It comes in all forms i.e positive, vague, constructive, direct, blunt, critical, etc.
The previous startup I worked at was ultra feedback-driven.
“Do you have any feedback for me?” or “I wanted to share feedback with you” is the most common conversation starter on feedback exchange.
From top to bottom and vice-a-versa, feedback is sought frequently.
Close to 3 years of journey in the feedback-driven culture helped me identify two questions that worked best in morphing any vague feedback into a constructive one. By constructive I mean accepting or dismissing the feedback with grace.
Let’s say I received feedback “Design and product should work closely while defining a solution”.
To which I would reply “Thanks for the feedback. I agree in principle. Could you share an example from the past 3–4 months’ projects that led you to this feedback?”
If they quote a relevant example. I would ask “Are there more examples?”
Examples help me understand where someone is coming from. Patterns help me assess how seriously I should take it. Mistakes will happen in each project. We will realize areas of improvement after each project.
I believe if something happened once, the feedback receiver should see it with low-level severity and can close the conversation by saying
“Thanks for letting me know early. I’ll take care next time. Please continue giving me feedback”.
OR
“Thanks for letting me know early. Usually, I practice what you are recommending. This time didn’t happen the same way because [reason]. That said, if you see this repeating multiple times please call out”
OR
“Thanks for sharing your feedback. I’ve received similar feedback. I’m working on it. In the upcoming project, you will definitely see an improvement. Please continue giving me feedback”.
If multiple examples are quoted, I reply “Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate you being honest & direct. You will definitely see improvements next time. Please continue giving me feedback”
If no examples are quoted, I reply “Thanks for the feedback. But without examples or data points, it’s difficult to understand and accept the feedback. It’s fine if we park this discussion here. We can talk again if anything clicks”.
To summarize, seek data points if the packaging of feedback is not constructive and
Vague — Design and product should work closely while defining a solution
Blunt — As you ideate solutions, you don’t involve product folks enough.
Critical — The lack of involvement of product folks in the ideation process is concerning. We shall do something about it.
Two best ways to seek data-point is to ask
- Could you share an example from the past 3–4 months’ projects that led you to this feedback /opinion?
- How frequently it has happened?
These questions will prove good enough in navigating the feedback ship from vague/blunt/critical territory to constructive territory.
Consciously or subconsciously, people will notice the benefit of leading difficult conversations with good questions rather than solid justification or defense.
As they notice, they adapt. More and more people learn to handle difficult conversations with grace and objectivity. And therein thrives unity.
Interested in learning more about handling difficult design feedback? Check these writeups
